Monday Night Mama Thoughts :: waiting for our baby's arrival

Baby girl # 2 @ 36 weeks

It's late late (11:41pm) on a Monday night and I'm sitting in bed with lots of thoughts in my head. Everything that happens, like a message from a loved one or a certain kind of motion in my belly, makes me think maybe it's time. I didn't have this same suspense when Bekah was born. She arrived 3 weeks early... totally unexpected and wonderful.

Before settling in for the night, Luke and I talked about Bekah, like we often do. I asked "What was something funny that Bekah did today?" I asked because I could easily think of a dozen things if I took the time. She makes me laugh so much. I chose the multiple times today when she kept showing up with a crumpled something in her hand... a napkin or a water bottle wrapper all compressed in her fist. Her tiny fist hid it from our sight and then all of a sudden, like a magician, she would pull on the wrapper or napkin and watch it slowly spread out from tiny-toddler-fist size to grow and grow and grow. I don't know why it was so funny to us... haha. Her presentation was really good!

I had a bunch of strong contractions last week. Apparently that's normal but for about 30 minutes, Luke and I thought it was the real deal. A couple days later, I was standing in Target talking with my friend Jen and I told her it was so cool having Bekah around during that time. She was such a calming presence. In the toughest moments of labor with Bekah, I remember loosing sight of what was to come. Everything felt uncertain and unfamiliar... I was thinking about the struggle and not so much the end result. I had never met my child before. I couldn't imagine what it would be like when they laid her on my chest for the first time... I can still remember that weight and how amazing and squirmy she was. I loved the sound of Bekah's voice right away. Now I know even more than that. I know what it's like to hear your baby laugh, to see her (unique, wonderful, complex) personality develop, and to love her so much you can't find words for it. I can't wait to experience that with this little girl still in my belly.

My beautiful Bekah at about 20 weeks

When I was having contractions last week, Bekah was running around the house, being silly... coming to talk to me. And I thought about how I'd go through anything for her and that put labor in perspective. It is uncertain and I'll have to work through it one moment at a time, just like last time, but, man oh man, there is so much to look forward to in our future with this girl.

Just yesterday my friend Ashley threw a "baby blessing" for us after church. It meant the world to me... people like her make me want to grow leaps and bounds in thoughtfulness. Thank you, Ashley! We celebrated our little girl and were blessed with some wonderful gifts. Our friends Tom and Lana even gifted Luke with a Star Wars shirt.. so that was pretty awesome. :) For all the love and support we've received from family and friends I'm very humbled and very thankful. I pray often for my girls that God would give them amazing friendships all throughout their lives... He is so good at that.

Anyways. Thanks for reading my middle of the night and nine months pregnant thoughts. :) Tomorrow is a normal day at home... I'm looking forward to some more laughter with Bekah and an appointment with my midwife. Hope you're having a really good week.

Love,
Bonnie
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