I said something like, "I never expected that it would be this hard to deal with change." It felt good to say it - like I had narrowed down and organized all five hundred little thoughts flying around in my brain. Being a momma is an amazing thing and it has a funny way of showing me what I struggle with. Learning to be flexible and calm in the midst of change is one for me.
I don't say this to be hard on myself, instead I share it to help myself and anyone else who struggles with this to take a big step into freedom. I am an over-thinker. Honestly, sometimes just trying to decide if I should change Bekah one more time before bed stresses me out. I allow myself to overthink this decision and that decision, fully confident that any little choice I make will encourage a bad habit in her or something silly like that. I guess when I say "I am an over thinker".... it's really my way of confessing that I've been allowing myself to worry way. too. much. It comes from fear.
"When I am afraid I will trust in you" - Psalm 56:3
"Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest" - Matthew 11:28
So yesterday afternoon I needed to make a change in the way I had been thinking. I decided that it's time for me to stop worrying so much about making a mistake. I think there is a place that is full of grace where we just realize that we are humans and we are going to mess things up sometimes. That despite our best efforts, we will never be perfect moms or perfect students or perfect friends. Praise God for the grace that comes through Jesus Christ. We don't need to be perfect and we don't need to worry.
Then another little flower of hope popped up in my soul. It was this reminder...
Remember to have fun. Embrace the messiness
and the silliness and the unpredictable-ness of life right now and have fun.
I've been encouraging this simple reminder to run through my heart over and over and over again today. It sounds so simple but for me it runs so deep. By choosing to have fun, I'm taking a stand against that very human part of me that wants to worry my life away.
Have you been feeling the weight of worry lately? There's freedom in giving your fears and overthinking-thoughts to Jesus.
Love you friends! And remember to have some fun today. :)
Bonnie
There's nothing more productive than just sitting down and talking with my wife.
ReplyDeleteGreat word Bonnie and one that countless Mommas have studied for ages. I love the pics of you and your family! This old poem says it all! Love you! Linda Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth, Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
ReplyDeleteHang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,Lullaby, rockabye, lullaby loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peek-a-boo
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren’t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullaby, rockaby lullaby loo.
The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
- Ruth Hulbert Hamilton
Bonnie, I can definitely relate to this! I'm an over-thinker too. Sometimes we really do just need to verbalise everything to give us a new perspective on the situation.
ReplyDeleteGlad you're feeling happier today though!
Hey Bonnie! Such a great reminder. I am so glad I stopped to read this post about having fun, even when life is messy and stressful. Change can be good sometimes and it all depends on the attitude and outlook we have! You're so wise and such a sweet woman that I am glad I can get to know more. Love you!!
ReplyDeleteChange is hard. Especially BIG changes. Even when they're beautiful, and wanted, and embraced with all our hearts - it doesn't make it any easier to adapt. Overthinking is a mama's worst enemy. It's also the one that seems as though it sticks around (from what some say, it's for life!). But I do believe that we get better at stamping it down when it rears its ugly head - and prayer, and those verses you shared above, are the best way to do that!!
ReplyDeleteThese kinds of days will come and go- especially in the early months. (I'm expecting them to come again in February...) But you're doing brilliantly, Bonnie! It's the toughest job in the world, and it doesn't come with a manual. Keep turning to Him in prayer and your burden will certainly be eased.
<3 :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet poem! Thanks for sharing that with me, Linda :) And thank you for reading, too!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Holly! :) Yes - the verbalizing helps a lot. Thanks so much for reading.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Natalie - for all your sweet words! :) You are so right... attitude and outlook change how we experience anything and everything. Love you, lady! Hope you had a good weekend!
ReplyDeleteThat is so true "it doesn't make it any easier to adapt". I read a great book called Experiencing Grief last semester... it was particularly dealing with grief/loss but I think so many of the principles apply to just dealing with change, too... we all handle it differently and that's ok :) Thanks as always for your encouragement, Rebecca. It's so nice having you, a few steps ahead of me in this life stage, to share your wisdom with me :)
ReplyDeleteIts so hard sometimes to just relax and have fun anymore.
ReplyDeleteGreat post.
So true! :) Rest is so important. Thanks for reading! <3
ReplyDelete