I said something like, "I never expected that it would be this hard to deal with change." It felt good to say it - like I had narrowed down and organized all five hundred little thoughts flying around in my brain. Being a momma is an amazing thing and it has a funny way of showing me what I struggle with. Learning to be flexible and calm in the midst of change is one for me.
I don't say this to be hard on myself, instead I share it to help myself and anyone else who struggles with this to take a big step into freedom. I am an over-thinker. Honestly, sometimes just trying to decide if I should change Bekah one more time before bed stresses me out. I allow myself to overthink this decision and that decision, fully confident that any little choice I make will encourage a bad habit in her or something silly like that. I guess when I say "I am an over thinker".... it's really my way of confessing that I've been allowing myself to worry way. too. much. It comes from fear.
"When I am afraid I will trust in you" - Psalm 56:3
"Then Jesus said,
So yesterday afternoon I needed to make a change in the way I had been thinking. I decided that it's time for me to stop worrying so much about making a mistake. I think there is a place that is full of grace where we just realize that we are humans and we are going to mess things up sometimes. That despite our best efforts, we will never be perfect moms or perfect students or perfect friends. Praise God for the grace that comes through Jesus Christ. We don't need to be perfect and we don't need to worry.
Then another little flower of hope popped up in my soul. It was this reminder...
Remember to have fun. Embrace the messiness
and the silliness and the unpredictable-ness of life right now and have fun.
I've been encouraging this simple reminder to run through my heart over and over and over again today. It sounds so simple but for me it runs so deep. By choosing to have fun, I'm taking a stand against that very human part of me that wants to worry my life away.
Have you been feeling the weight of worry lately? There's freedom in giving your fears and overthinking-thoughts to Jesus.
Love you friends! And remember to have some fun today. :)