An hour or so later, I came back into our bedroom and just curled up quietly on the bed. All I could do was calmly tell God that I was discouraged and frustrated and that I didn't really feel like trying to figure out why I felt that way. My faith was feeling a little weak as I thought back to fears I struggled with last night… fears that God was ignoring me or that I had committed some sin that was keeping Him away from me. There were fears that I was inadequate to help people know Him. So I quietly talked to God about these fears and insecurities as I laid on my bed late this morning.
Then there was a little phrase that settled in my heart. It was just something the Holy Spirit reminded me of… in my spirit I felt God's invitation, "Come to me". Only a few minutes before I might have been frustrated by that invitation. I might have thought, "God, that's what I'm trying to do but I feel like I just can't get to you! I feel like everything I pray and everything I think frustrates me more. I just want you to tell me what to do and take over here." But I felt some fresh hope in that moment that there was a way out of my despair.
I simply sat up and started doodling the words "Come to Me" in my journal. I turned on worship music and accepted that invitation to spend some time with Him. I think I just needed to push past those fears about God rejecting me and I needed to believe Him at His Word, spoken by Jesus in Scripture:
"Come to me…"
I think "Come to me" was placed in my spirit this morning as a reminder that no matter how I feel or what fears are weighing heavy on me, He is always there for me. He is always there for us. Today, can we stand together in faith that whatever fears have kept us from going to Him in the past don't have to keep us from going to Him today? With the authority Jesus has given us, let's stand firm as the body of Christ against the lies of the enemy and keep going to God.
28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
Today let's push past those fears, those lies, and those insecurities and trust Jesus at His Word. What a beautiful future we have ahead of us, friends. We will see so many come to know this Hope in Jesus as we go to Him and continue the work of the Gospel.
*can you tell I'm feeling ready for spring from the picture above? ;)